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Welcome back, First Gens! As we end the month of July (can you believe it?!), we also conclude this month’s theme of Defying Expectations as a First Gen. This week Sara tells another story of her own experiences and what it has felt like for her. As a first-generation Latina, Sara has faced numerous expectations and norms that she has had to defy in order to carve out her own path. Growing up in a tight-knit Cuban family, certain career paths were considered prestigious and financially stable. However, Sara chose to venture into a field that was stigmatized and misunderstood by her family: mental health and social work.

Mental health is still a taboo subject in many cultures, and Sara’s Cuban family is no exception. As she shared before, when Sara told her grandmother she wanted to be a social worker, her grandmother assumed it was something like a psychiatrist. She thought “oh Sara is going to be a doctor!” Though a misunderstanding, this further showcases an issue many first gens face —our families often struggle to comprehend our career choices. This is especially the case when they deviate from traditional, well-understood professions like medicine, law, or engineering. Of course, they want us to be successful in ways maybe they could not be, but this can also cause a barrier between families.

Defying Expectations as a First Gen

Sara has also gone well beyond the norm and has been in therapy now for almost 12 years. In her large Cuban family, only a few have sought out therapy, including Sara and her mom. There’s such a cultural stigma surrounding therapy and many first gens may not seek it out because of this. It’s important to remember that we don’t have to abide by the expectations our families have set for us. It is okay to seek help and support when you need it, even if our families think we don’t.

Born and raised in New Jersey, Sara was also the first in her dad’s side of the family to leave the state since they immigrated from Cuba. This move was seen as rebellious and was initially met with resistance. Her close-knit family thought of it as abandonment, but over time, they began to accept it. As you may know, Sara also quit her stable 9-to-5 job to become an entrepreneur, marking yet another step beyond the norm. Understandably so, Sara’s family was worried she was leaving behind the stability that comes with a 9 to 5 job for something so uncertain. Sara, however, was confident that by breaking away from traditional expectations, she was setting herself up for a future of greater stability and personal fulfillment.

Defying The Norm

A common norm that a lot of first gens are probably defying is one that revolves around personal life choices. So many cultures prioritize marriage and children, but Sara, much like many others, chose to focus on education and career first. This decision often leads to uncomfortable questions at family gatherings about significant others, marriage, and children. It’s okay to follow your own timeline. There are so many ways to live a happy, fulfilled life without subscribing to the cultural norms.

Navigating these challenges hasn’t been easy, but therapy and connecting with like-minded individuals have been crucial in Sara’s journey. Celebrating small wins, being patient with herself, and finding supportive communities have helped her thrive. For all the first gens out there, remember that your journey is unique and valid. Defy expectations, follow your own path, and find your tribe. You are not alone. For more information, follow Sara on instagram here https://www.instagram.com/thefirstgenmadrina/.

The First Gen Madrina