Welcome back, First Gens! This week, we continue talking about this month’s theme: Conflict and Money as a First Gen. Unfortunately, conflict is something many first gens know all too well, especially when money enters the conversation. To discuss this a bit more, I welcome special guest Dr. Jen Fry to unpack the complicated relationship between conflict, culture, and financial wellness.
Dr. Jen is a conflict literacy expert, meaning she says the things everyone else is thinking but avoiding. She is a sports geographer, tech founder, TEDxDuke speaker, and international presenter. She leads Jen Fry Talks, a firm at the intersection of conflict and culture. In her work, she helps teams turn tension into clarity, accountability, and trust instead of awkward silence and side conversations. Jen’s passion involves teaching leaders and teams how to communicate clearly. She believes that we can handle conflict without blowing things up and actually fix things when they go sideways. She is also the author of I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk.
Dr. Jen Fry
During our conversation, Jen shares with us how her first gen experience helped shape her understanding of work ethic and financial security. Raised by a mother who worked multiple jobs, she learned early on that stability often meant grinding nonstop. This is something a lot of first gens might be familiar with. We grow up believing that rest is earned and survival depends on always doing more. While that resilience can help us succeed, it can also lead to burnout when we never learn how to slow down.
In this episode, we discuss the idea that conflict itself is not inherently bad. So many of us were raised to avoid difficult conversations because conflict felt unsafe or tied to financial stress. Dr. Jen encourages us to think of conflict as something we interact with every day. Whether it is negotiating boundaries, discussing debt, or helping family members navigate banking systems, conflict is unavoidable. The goal is not to eliminate it, but to learn how to move through it more intentionally.
Conflict and Money
Lastly, we explored the cultural layers attached to money. For many immigrant and first gen families, distrust in financial systems is rooted in real experiences. Families from countries impacted by unstable governments or collapsed banking systems often carry fear around banks, debt, or investing. That fear does not disappear simply because someone moves to the United States. Instead of judging older generations for that mistrust, Jen encourages us to be empathetic and patient.
We’re reminded that money conflicts are often not just about money. They are usually tied to secrecy, shame, fear, or control. Learning how to communicate, set boundaries, and stay present during these uncomfortable conversations can help break cycles many first gens inherited growing up.
Overall, we want to remind you that healing your relationship with money also means healing your relationship with conflict. That work is not easy, but it is necessary. For first gens carrying the weight of being the dependable one, learning how to have these tough conversations and lead with compassion may be the path towards healing. Remember, your Madrina is always in your corner and here to help you through it all. For more information on Dr. Jen’s work, visit
http://www.jenfrytalks.com/.
The First Gen Madrina
The First Gen Madrina is built on three interconnected branches designed to support first-generation students and professionals in wellbeing, wealth, and community:
Madrina Money focuses on financial wellness through a first-gen lens. This branch supports individuals in unpacking money stories, building sustainable wealth, and gaining the confidence and tools needed to make empowered financial decisions without shame or judgment.
Madrina Network is dedicated to supporting social work students and professionals. Through resources, coaching, community, and conversations beyond traditional paths, this branch helps social workers navigate burnout, career growth, and non-traditional opportunities while staying aligned with their values.
Madrina Speaks centers on storytelling, speaking, and education. Through workshops, keynotes, panels, and the podcast, this branch creates space for honest conversations about first-generation experiences, identity, money, and purpose helping individuals feel seen, supported, and empowered.
Together, these branches reflect the heart of The First Gen Madrina: breaking cycles, building confidence, and supporting first-gens as they step into lives of intention, impact, and abundance.
Check out http://thefirstgenmadrina.com for more information!
